Also known as: How Leslie learned never to do something about which you would ridicule your brother.

Yesterday, Leslie had a spurt of what she likes to call "Brother dumb," during which she pulled a stunt similar to that of her brother's from the past. This particular stunt involved a dog, a roommate and a semi-frozen pool.

So. Here's how it goes.

Nicole, Mom and I are standing in the kitchen and we look through the window to see Gracie standing on the pool, drinking from a corner. Somehow the conversation slipped to Nicole walking on the ice because she doesn't weigh too much more than the dog. And we're like--"Cool. Let's try it." Because we're dumb like that.

So we go outside, it's probably a little above freezing...not too bad, because both Mom and Nicole were able to stay out there for more than eight minutes. Nicole strolls out, about two and a half feet, over the end of the pool stairs. There's a bit of crunching as the ice floe moved, not a really unusual thing. [Seriously, we enjoy sending Grace flying across the end, watching her skid to a stop and then the entire rest of the chunk slowly floating an inch or two until it butts up against the other end. Hilarious.] No longer wishing to tempt fate, Nicole leaves the ice.

Then, of course, brilliant me decides--"what the heck? I'll try it!" So I do. I gingerly step onto the same ice upon which my substantially smaller roomie was just standing. There's some minor crunching; I'm not concerned. I'm stupid. So I sort of bounce a little on the balls of my feet and there's some more crunching. Then a crack. Do I get off?

Of course not.

I edge back toward solid ground, but decide to bounce a little more. Because I'm dumb.

Like whoa, dumb.

The ice cracks more and I am sent plummeting into knee-deep ice water, barking my right shin sharply on the top step and thoroughly soaking my legs. It was, not surprisingly, cold.

So that's my story with brilliance.

And why I need to, before doing anything particularly idiotic, I must think, "Would Denny have done this when he was younger...or even now?"

Don't fear that I didn't learn my lesson, though. I have a knot on my shin that protrudes ever slightly. Since I was climbing in and out of Agamemnon [the box crusher at work] repeatedly today, I was continually brushing/bumbing it on the cold, harsh metal of the damnable machine. [I do, actually, love Agamemnon. That's why he got a cool name.]


So yes.

That's me in a nutshell. 

And a quote, because I think it's funny:
"Excuse me, Mr. Disney, but I'm bleeding to death."
-Gary Owens.

One more thing, because I think it's FABULOUS.

Tags: famliy, friends, life, quotes, random